One week before kick-off!

Doubt, stress, uncertainty and mostly.........belief!

I think for every racer there’s always an element of self - doubt. It doesn't really matter how big the race is. It could be the local 5K for which you trained 3 months non-stop, or it could be your first marathon for which you trained a year. Did I do enough to prepare? Do I have enough training hours in? Was my intensity high enough? Did I lose enough weight and build enough muscle to be effective? Did I eat right? These are the questions that pop up in the back of my mind as we get closer to kick-off. Normally I will answer them (talking to myself and reminding myself that it will be OK) and move on. With the MDS, they just keep popping up...over and over again. 

The training and mental preparation before the race is something I have control over. That’s the good news, I think. Getting the entry visa and possibly not competing, is something I unfortunately don’t have control over. With 4 days before leaving for this endeavor and 7 days before the self sufficiency stage starts, this is the last thing a racer should be worried with. I mean, there are enough other things on ones mind......will I make it? Will I be able to do these distances day after day...in the heat and sand....with 12 kgs on my back? Will I be able to not disappoint anyone, mostly myself? Was or is it all worth it? Did I pack the right food and gear? Will I know what to do when I get blisters and can't move? Will I know when to take breaks and when to push hard? Will I be able to sleep and recuperate at night? Are my clothes warm enough for the cold winter nights but cool enough for the hot desert days? The list goes on and on....and quite frankly it's enough to drive a (semi) sane woman, insane ;-)

Every time I have an uncertain thought, or that dark passenger takes a ride (Dexter fans will get that reference), I remind myself how much support I've gotten over the last 10 months. It's indeed a time for reflection. There has been messages, facebook posts, generous and thoughtful donations, and even a Rhino statue to celebrate my cause. It's been unbelievable to me how well people react to me doing this crazy race. I'm reminded every time someone makes a comment or a donation comes in that even when we are removed by distance, there are people around this world who truly care and who is with me in spirit, only because they can't be with me in person. And although it would be so lovely to have you all close, the mere thought of you thinking of me, is motivation enough. 

However, an ode to all my supporters cannot be complete without specially thanking the ones closest to me. My parents, who have not shown an ounce of doubt EVER about me doing this. Hell, my mom even said if she was a few years younger she would do it with me! (I just had to laugh at her comment, but the sentiment means so much to me) From the moment I called them and asked them for support, they were on-board, without asking any questions. I must say, after I showed them a video about James Cracknell doing the MDS, their faces turned from peach to grey to white, but if they were afraid for my safety and doubted my abilities, they never said it to me out loud. They are my supporters from afar who made all this possible. Without them, this would've remained a dream for me, and I will forever be thankful to them for that. 

My in-laws who have tirelessly listened to my updates about the silly entry visa, or me being tired from training ;-) I know that you are supporting me in every step, and I hope to make you proud. Thank you! 

Last but for sure not the least, my love. You have been my number 1 supporter from day 1...well maybe not day 1 because then you were still afraid for my safety and you didn't like the idea of me going, so let's say you were my number 1 supporter from day 5 on-wards! ;-) All jokes aside, you have been absolutely amazing. You have created my weight training program, and 'forced' me to do it with you 3 times a week for months. You have cooked for me every single day, making sure I change my unhealthy, unbalanced diet to a better suited one (I still snuck in chips and chocolate every now and then, but let's not focus on that right now). You have given up your training times so that I could train while you took care of our dogs, or did the shopping, or made sure everything was OK around the house. You supported me when I had an off day (or 20!), and you pushed me when I was just lazy and needed a kick in the back side. You provided me with assurance that I can do this when I was doubting myself. I know that this has put a huge strain on you as well, and I cannot thank you enough for being so amazingly supportive, understanding and constant. If it wasn't for you, I would have given up a long time ago. You're my rock! 

So with all the inevitable self - doubt, and stress that comes with waiting for a visa, I know that I have all the support in the world, and I BELIEVE that it will all work out for the better. I want to thank you all, again, from the bottom of my heart. YOU are the ones making all this worthwhile.  

Gear Update No 3

We are approaching the last month before the event (scary!!), and this weekend I tried my new desert shoe gaiters for the first time. I first glued on the velcro to the bottom of my Salomon Trail running shoes, then took it to a shoe expert to sow it on for me. I tested the shoes in various levels of sand (wet, hard, dry, deep) and can happily report that not a single grain of sand got in. Of course this is not a true test because the Saharan sands are different, the weather will be different so the fabrics might react differently, and I will be sweating a lot more which could also affect how the gaiters sit around my feet and ankles. But all in all, a fantastic result and I'm confident that this will work.

                                                 Shoe gaiters (not my hairy leg in the pic ;-))

I've now also got my backpack sorted and ALMOST everything fits. I will have to cut down my food a little bit to make space for a warm top so it's still a work in progress. It looks like I will have a final pack close to 11 kgs which is a bit heavier than what I initially wanted, but it's impossible to have all the hygiene items, sufficient food, and warm clothes for the desert nights and reach a lighter weight compromise. My aim will be to have anything I might need to treat cuts, bruises and blisters on the spot so it does not become infected and hinder me from finishing the race. That week will all be about staying healthy, injury free and not pick up any infectious diseases from living in close quarters with 900 other competitors without any running water or toilet facilities. Scary thought, but again, I think it's all about doing your planning beforehand and taking enough hygiene products with you to make sure you do everything you can to stay healthy.

All that remains for the next month is to keep doing the training, stay injury free and try not to stress too much ;-)